New Year’s Eve — the beginning and, at the same time, the end.
Looking back on 2025, it has been a tough year. It hasn’t been all bad — I am still grateful for the good — but it was emotionally charged. I never thought that gain and loss could be experienced in such a short span of time.
Grief took over towards the last quarter of the year. The biggest loss.
Since then, I have been working on myself with the help of therapy, ChatGPT, my cats, and my husband. Working on my anxiety. Learning to self-regulate. The already drained energy kept on draining.
As I sat in my bed, typing this, tears well up. Between the pain, the thoughts, and the fireworks, I didn’t know what I was really celebrating. Is it the beginning? The end? The continuation.
I know the new year won’t magically make me feel better. Maybe it’s the uncertainty or the doubt, or maybe I am scared. I don’t know. All I know is that I am carrying this grief with me in 2026 , but maybe with a little hope. I’ll carry this love that has nowhere else to go.
So, hello 2026, please be gentle this year.
Eri's Thoughts 